Do Anti-Bullying Programs Really Work? What New York Schools (and Parents) Need to Know
Let’s be real for a second.
Bullying is still happening.
In classrooms. In cafeterias. On the playground. And yes—even online.
And that’s a big deal.
If you’re a parent, you’ve probably worried about your child being hurt—or even being the one doing the hurting.
If you work in a school, you’ve seen it firsthand. You’ve had to handle it. Maybe even clean up the emotional mess after it’s over.
So the big question is:
Do anti-bullying programs actually work?
Short answer: Some do. Some don’t.
Let’s talk about what really helps—and what’s just noise.
First, What Are Anti-Bullying Programs?
Anti-bullying programs come in many shapes and sizes.
Some are full-on curriculums. Some are quick school assemblies. Others are posters in the hallway with slogans like “Be Kind!” or “Words Hurt!”
But not all of these actually help in preventing bullying.
Some schools check a box.
They book a guest speaker once a year and think the job is done.
But here’s the truth—a single assembly won’t fix a culture.
Real change happens when schools—and families—get serious. When they focus on long-term solutions, not just band-aids.
What DOES Work: Programs That Get Kids Involved
Here’s what I’ve learned after years of working in schools all across New York:
The best anti-bullying programs do one thing really well.
They make kids part of the solution.
If students just sit there and get “talked at,” nothing sticks. But if they play a role—ask questions, take action, speak up—they actually remember.
That’s why some of the best programs use:
Roleplaying
Interactive games
Real stories
Group discussions
Here’s one you might like:
This guide on preventing bullying in elementary schools breaks down some of the best strategies schools can use today.
What Doesn’t Work? Scare Tactics
I once saw a video used in a school that showed a child in tears, all alone in a dark hallway.
The message was clear: “Bullying ruins lives.”
But the tone? Way too dark. Way too heavy. Especially for kids in grades K–5.
Here’s what happens with scare tactics:
Kids tune it out
It makes them anxious
It makes the school seem out of touch
We don’t need to scare kids into kindness.
We need to help them understand it. Practice it. See the results of it.
And honestly, kids want to do the right thing. They just need the tools.
The Parent Piece: What YOU Can Do at Home
Stopping bullying isn’t just the school’s job.
Parents have a massive role to play. Here’s how you can help from the very beginning:
1. Ask better questions.
Instead of “How was your day?” try:
“Who did you sit with at lunch today?”
“Did you see anyone being unkind?”
“What’s one kind thing you did today?”
These kinds of questions open the door.
2. Watch for quiet warning signs.
Sometimes bullied kids don’t talk.
But their behavior will.
Look for:
Sudden mood swings
Avoiding school
Faking illness
Lost belongings
These can be red flags.
If something feels off, trust your gut. Check in.
What Schools in New York Are Doing Right
Some New York elementary schools are setting the bar high. They’ve moved beyond posters and one-off speakers.
They’re using full-year programs that include:
Classroom lessons
Staff training
Parent resources
School-wide pledges
Follow-up assemblies
I worked with a principal in Buffalo who created a “Kindness Council.”
It was a group of students—grades 3–5—who met monthly to brainstorm ways to help their peers feel safe and welcome.
You know what happened?
The number of bullying reports went down.
Kids felt seen.
They started taking care of each other.
That’s what a real anti-bullying program looks like.
How to Stop Bullying (The Real Way)
If you want to know how to stop bullying, here’s the no-fluff version:
✅ Talk about it. A lot. With kids. With staff. With parents.
✅ Give kids actual words they can say when they see bullying.
✅ Teach them the difference between tattling and telling.
✅ Show them how to step up for each other.
✅ Don’t just punish bullies—help them change.
And yes—bring in outside voices.
An engaging school assembly can spark the conversation.
Just make sure you choose one that’s more than entertainment.
Here’s one option that works: Preventing Bullying in Elementary Schools breaks down programs that are interactive, age-appropriate, and actually make a difference.
What Kids Really Want
You might think kids want phones, freedom, and snacks.
But here’s something deeper:
They want to feel safe.
They want to be included.
They want to belong.
When bullying happens, all of that breaks down.
So the real win isn’t just stopping the bad behavior.
The real win is building a culture where kids want to be kind.
Where kindness is the default—not the exception.
And guess what? They’re capable of it. Even the little ones.
What Should Schools Do Next?
If you’re a school administrator in New York and you’re serious about this, here’s where to start:
Take stock: What’s working? What’s not?
Involve staff AND students in your planning.
Look at programs with real-world interaction.
Set goals. Track progress. Share wins.
Revisit your policies on bullying. Make sure they reflect the real problems your school faces.
And if you’re ready to take the next step, dig into this breakdown on preventing bullying in elementary schools. It includes ideas that are actually working right now—in real schools.
Final Thoughts: Real Change Takes Guts
Let’s not sugarcoat it.
Preventing bullying isn’t easy. It takes more than a poster. More than a “Kindness Week.” More than one assembly a year.
But the work is worth it.
Because when we do it right, kids thrive.
They feel safer. Happier. More confident.
And that changes everything—not just for now, but for the rest of their lives.
So yes—anti-bullying programs can work.
But only if we do the work, too.
Let’s stop checking boxes. Let’s start changing lives.
Want to Start the Conversation in a Fun Way?
My “No Bully Zone” Bully Prevention school assembly is the perfect ‘kickoff’ to a school-wide campaign for a positive environment. Filled with magic, kid-friendly humor, and loads of interaction, your teachers and students will love it. Find out more today.